Even The Huffington Post realizes flammable intoxicating liquids will be needed to chase the cliché-laced tripe gushing out of the boob tube during tomorrow night’s SOTU.

Rules of the Game:

• Every time Barack H. Obama mentions bipartisanship, everybody has to drink 2 shots of beer.
• If he talks about the lessons of Tucson, the last person to throw their arms in the air, fall to their knees and shout “Hallelujah!” has to drink 1 entire beer.
• Everybody has to drink 2 shots of beer whenever John Boehner appears to cry. 1 shot of bourbon if he breaks down sobbing and disappears entirely from view.
• Every time Barack H. Obama says “Democratic leadership,” the first person to stop laughing is exempt from drinking 2 shots of beer.
• If either Vice President Biden or the Speaker of the House Boehner is seen nodding off on camera, last person to start singing “Wake Up, Little Susie” has to drink 3 shots of beer.
• If the president says the State of the Union is good, but could be better, the last person to eat a fully accoutered hot dog has to drink 1 shot of bourbon.
• Whenever the president defends ObamaCare, everybody drinks 2 shots of beer. If he mentions Congress voting to repeal it, drink a whole beer and throw hot dogs at the television. The first person to hit Nancy Pelosi in the head is exempt from having to drink 2 shots of bourbon.
• If the president relates a touching heartfelt story of a supporter who was denied a decent education, Rags gets to kick everybody else once. Twice, if the subject of the anecdote is in the audience. 3 times, if he/she is sitting next to a 2 star general.
• Every time President Barack Obama talks about his resolve and adopts a frowny look with his brow all furrowed and stuff, drink 1 shot of beer.
• If the chief executive winks at or points at Michelle, all 4 players swordfight with hot dogs. Whoever is left with an intact weenie does not have to eat an entire shot glass full of that weird green relish.
• If the president mentions the Chinese president by name, the last person to ask “Hu Dat?” has to drink 2 shots of beer.

~snip~

h/t: Melissa and Kevin